646f9e108c Max Kirkpatrick is a cop who protects Kate McQuean, a civil law attorney, from a renegade KGB team out to terminate her.
Garbage thriller notable only for the brief nudity of star Cindy Crawford. You kids today won't remember but this was a pretty big deal at the time among teenage boys. It's pretty tame by today's standards I guess. The movie itself is some thrown together by-the-numbers story about a cop (the always slimy William Baldwin) protecting a lawyer (Crawford) from a Russian out to kill her for a pretty stupid reason. If you're not interested in Crawford's looks there really is nothing to recommend about this. If you are interested, Cindy is certainly gorgeous throughout the picture, despite her limited acting ability. If you insist upon watching this I suggest muting it and keeping your free hand on the fast-forward button.
Leggy lawyer Cindy Crawford is attempting to get sleazy lawyer Dan Hedaya to admit that his client owns a certain boat.<br/><br/>Crawford shows Hedaya a picture of a boat. "Never heard of the *Tortuga*," he says.<br/><br/>"I didn't say the name," says Crawford.<br/><br/>Ha! Gotcha! Isn't she clever? Even though there was no reason–NONE–for Hedaya to say the name of the boat, he said it anyway. I mean, it doesn't even make any *sense* for him to say the name of the boat at this point. In the situation, it's virtually a *non sequitur*.<br/><br/>But he said it anyway! That's just how brilliant Ms. Crawford's character is.<br/><br/>And you know what? That's only a minor idiocy, like having Billy Baldwin claim that he's been on hold for 20 minutes when we can clearly hear that he's at the very beginning ("press 1, press 2") of one of those automated phone systems.<br/><br/>It gets worse…oh, so much worse. I mean, Cindy Crawford plays a brilliant lawyer, for God's sake!<br/><br/>Then there's the "infrared scope" scene, the stupidity of which is beyond my descriptive powers.<br/><br/>And am I wrong, or was "They did it on computers!" a really lame explanation for all this, even back in 1995?<br/><br/>And I have given up trying to understand how the bad guy's plan is supposed to work–I mean, what is killing one lawyer supposed to accomplish? Is the idea that she's the only lawyer in Florida who could get a judge to enforce an outstanding court order? Or is she supposed not to have put any of this information in her law firm's files? Or mentioned it to anyone else? Or filed any court papers? Or employed a single clerk or investigator on the case? You know, I really don't think these guys understand how the world works.<br/><br/>And since their plan is going to be completed in a very short time anyway, does it even matter? Wouldn't it have been smarter just to have sleazy lawyer Hedaya stall for a couple of days if necessary? It just doesn't make any sense!<br/><br/>And I absolutely refuse, for the sake of my own mental health, to even go into this "federal maritime court" nonsense.<br/><br/>It comesno surprise to learn that idiot screenwriter Charlie Fletcher has only one other credit. Whether this is because he's too stupid even to gain employment in Hollywood, or smart enough to have changed his name, I don't know.<br/><br/>Idiot director Andrew Sipes (whose cinema career seems to have come to an abrupt and deserved end after he helmed this, his one and only movie) tries to add "excitement" to the first couple of "action" scenes by doing flash pans accompanied by "SHOOM!" noises, although he abandons this after the first couple of scenes and moves on to the even more clichéd slow-motion.<br/><br/>If anyone had been stupid enough to give Ed Wood a $50-million-dollar budget (and if anyone had been, it would have been idiot producer Joel Silver), this is the movie he would have made. If you enjoy repeatedly shouting "Oh, come ON!" at the screen, then you'll like this movie. If you want intelligent scripting, competent acting, exciting action, and skillful direction, look elsewhere.
Fair Game worksa thriller for anyone who lives entirely in the present.

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